From the Memoir: Malala's First Visit to Pakistan After the Attack
An excerpt from Finding My Way by Malala Yousafzai.
When I arrived in Birmingham for spring break, I told my dad we had to go to Pakistan. If my college friends could visit during their holidays, I deserved that right too. I was growing impatient; it felt like if I didn’t go now, I never would.
“Let’s put it off until summer,” he said.
“If you want to wait, that’s fine. I’ll go alone,” I replied, daring him. “I will book my flight, leave this house by cab, and call Moniba when I land to pick me up.” Deep down, I wasn’t that bold, but I wasn’t sure my dad realized it — maybe that could work in my favor.
Every time, the same response came back: “It’s not the right moment for Malala’s return.” My dad had heard that so often I worried he was losing hope.
“It will never be the ‘right’ moment!” I said, trying to share my frustration. “I am a Pakistani citizen with a valid passport. They have no reason to stop me.”
I sounded angry, but inside my heart was breaking. At 24 Observations, I’d experienced more reminders of home — food, music, sports, language — in a few weeks than in the past five years. This awakening was painful, like blood returning to numb limbs.
I was done stalking old friends on Facebook, done walking the streets on Google Maps. I couldn’t keep dreaming of home at night and waking up confused every morning.
Author's summary: Malala’s longing for home grows urgent, clashing with obstacles as she fights to reclaim her right to return to Pakistan after years away.